such a disgusting shakespearean title… even the title irritate me tats why i put it there… (im listening to bruno mars my current fav voice yet im pissed off)
u know there are friends whom you share mutual friends with? sometimes i kinda hate the fact that i have mutual friends with someone or share the same friends as people who are from different social circles.
(if i do share mutual or common friends as you this is not directed to u but more of a thought going through my head. THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE)
i hate being compared like u know some friends are closer to come cuz they are nicer… or not so bitchy… (im not bitchy… sigh~ :( ) like why why why do u feel closer to them than me? what did i do? why is it when i try so hard to be a good friend its never enough to be compared to them. and what have they done to u? were they always there for u? have they always considered everything for you?
plus some people always comment about me and my behaviour to others that i am not close to. and when i see those people they would know EVERYTHING ABOUT ME and that makes me feel uncomfortable. i let you into my world cuz i trust you. yet im betrayed. to you it may not be important or u made a side remark but to me its a betrayal of friendship. if u have nothing to talk to her about besides about me maybe u should decide to not be her friend cuz U HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON…
maybe im really a bad bad bad bad bad friend…. cuz although people call me out for fun and play they never have dark deep conversations with me…. they never share with me.. they just spread about me.
right now i hate myself alot.. and whoever said i have alot of confidence totally does not know a thing about me. u see this smile? the brighter it is the less confident i am around you. its the people that i dont smile at that i trust completely. thats why i never smiled at mother much? i frown and dump on her my darkest secrets.
right now would i wanna lose those friends that have been speaking ill about me? truthfully i will never broach this topic with them and i will never tell them my unhappiness.. i’m asian like that, glossing over the dark side and only acknowledging the happy bright side…
so im gonna gloss this over… i know i have dependable friends that i should appreciate more and ignore those that hurt me… and thats what i have been doing… just that those that irritate me just decided to show up all at once NOW and torture me.
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